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Adventures in China: Day 1 [Dec. 5th, 2010|09:43 pm]
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Amazingly, Livejournal was one of those blog sites that China gave exception to when it came to the firewall.

So I have decided to use this as a way to log my days here.

This is my first trip to a different country alone. While technically I am accompanied by an office mate for most cases, I feel so very alone.

For several weeks I was worried and stressed about this solo trip. In fact about 2 days ago I actually got a headache from thinking about all of this and I went home early to rest. I decided to take a sick leave due to that.

So anyway, let's start with the moment I woke up today. I set my alarm around 6:30 but still got up around 7. I took a shower, had breakfast and then left for the airport.
More China stuff comes here!Collapse )
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Latest update: Career Shift [Jul. 4th, 2010|09:47 am]
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[Current Mood |calmcalm]

 It's official: I have resigned from the old job.

It was a difficult decision to make that I feel bad for every now and then, but I finally managed to do it.

I got a job offer at a Multi-National Company that had loads of benefits and had better career growth. I honestly didn't know what to do at first, but after some consideration I decided to accept it.

I realized how many people I was going to miss and so many things I was going to give up on, but I suppose I've gotten over that now. I will do my best to keep in touch with them and make the last days of my transition period count...

I also need to ask my HR about certain paperwork. *sighs* Time to fill up forms again
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Thinking [May. 27th, 2010|10:51 pm]
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[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

 Uncertainty has never been more true.

So far everything has been stable with me and working but right now I'm still unsure.

I've been getting offers and wondering to myself if I really should make a career shift. For now I really don't know

I keep these offers on hold until I know what I really wanna do in life.

I wanted to talk more about this but it seems like I cannot.

I think I need to finish the 150 days project.
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...I want to be mad at you [Feb. 22nd, 2010|10:42 pm]
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[Current Mood |confusedconfused]

But I'm not.

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More heartaches [Feb. 21st, 2010|11:14 pm]
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 Keep em coming.

I feel nothing anymore
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I don't believe anybody feels the way I do about you now [Feb. 10th, 2010|11:06 pm]
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[Current Mood |sadsad]

It has been 150 days.

It's over.

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Love me not [Feb. 4th, 2010|11:39 pm]
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 As I watch you and her being happy together, while I am truly happy for you...I know that seeing her with you stings deep inside my heart.

I don't know how I came to love you. I don't think we would get along. We don't have the same interests, and I'm not really attractive. I don't bring out the best in you or make you happy either.

I guess I misinterpret your kindness. It was silly to even think that you saw me as anything more than what I really was.  I laugh at it until now. I wonder if you noticed I've been a little hurt even since I realized I misunderstood? You were worried, but what could you do?

When I met her for the first time, I wasn't sure if I was going to like her; not that it would really matter. At first, she didn't rub off me too well. It could be jealousy or she just didn't tick with me well. However, I have come to like her, and I now see even clearly why you chose her. She's great, and knowing that you didn't pick some jerk pleases me somehow. 

She makes you happy, and why would I be cruel enough as to stop this? I know nothing about you. I just happen to like you. Possibly love you?

It doesn't matter. You're important to me, more than you think you know, and I'm okay with you not sharing the same feelings for me. 

All I ask is that you allow me to be at your side as a friend.


"I'm leaving." 

I already knew. You told me you had plans to leave this area, and while it felt bad that I would probably never see you again I also felt some ease knowing you'd be gone. I needed to be away from you, and get my head straight. 

"You told me to tell you when I was going, right?"

I nodded. "Thanks...for remembering." I managed to say. 

You smiled. "I never forgot."

You ruffled my hair and walked away towards that girl. She smiles and waves back at me, and I give my best smile and wave back.

You two walk into the distance, and I tuck both my hands in both pocket and smile.

I'll miss you, you know, but we both have our own paths to walk on.

Maybe someday you'll cross mine? Or vice-versa?

I think that would be nice. 

For now, goodbye my love. Someday, I will forget you as how you shall soon forget me. 
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Realization [Jan. 14th, 2010|12:46 am]
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[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I have been given the chance to do some actual design tasks during PRE-productions. Before an actual game was made.

I spent the whole day drawing level designs based on the draft of the Game Design Document and how I understood it, along with checking out some reference games.

I somehow could not believe the feeling I had. It wasn't stress, or anything. Sure, I had a difficult time (I don't have TOO much faith in my level designs, so I noted that these were for EARLY levels if ever) but I felt pretty good after finishing a level and it was nice because I got to check out reference games and was not stressed out by doing QA stuff.

So far it all feels pretty good, and I thought that maybe it isn't as hard as I thought it was. I thought that just maybe I could really do this.

Also, am getting along pretty well with the people in the area I'm in. They're pretty friendly and all. Yay.

I'd talk more but I need to go to work tomorrow. This is all for now
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Looking back at an old self [Jan. 3rd, 2010|02:05 pm]
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I miss blogging.

When I was a teenager, it was part of my life to blog. And not like Plurk/Twitter micro-blogging, but LOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG BLOGS. Blog entries were so long none of my friends wanted to read it (Well they would but still tell me it's long).

I miss letting out my sarcastic blogger side, who I feel over the years has died down when I put my virtual pen on hold. Why did I stop blogging? Looking back, I can't put the source of why I did it. Most likely this was caused when I was too busy to write...and those days it mattered if someone read it or not. People were too busy with their lives, and the last few days before my blogging stopped it was a dark time for me. That dark time is over...and I don't wish to go back.

There have been rare occasions I went back to my old accounts to read my old articles. It never fails to amuse me when I read the things I've said. Memories that have long been in hiding resurface and make themselves known. It's really the only way to prove that I've truly changed, and hopefully it's for the better. I kinda wish I had wrote letters to my future self, but most likely I'd get too impatient to wait years so this will have to do.

Hmm, but then again I do remember blogging for a small period back in college, after the supposedly dark phase had left me. I guess it wasn't anything memorable, for while there was also some form of drama, I was old enough to shrug it off or too lazy to write down my rage. It was on this blog, actually...and another one but the site died. (Along with my Blogger account, which contained a bulk of many many things of my life that I wish to remember, but no longer can)

I suppose the next question to ask would be, why here? It's actually pretty simple. This was the only place where I felt I could write anything and never have to worry about just anyone reading it. This account is hardly known or remembered by any, and I feel it's the only place I can go to just let my feelings out. A shallow reason could be because it just has the "blogging" feel to it...but to me it really does.

Not sure how long before I decide to log back here again. It doesn't really matter I guess.
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Writer's Block: The supper club [Jan. 2nd, 2010|02:18 pm]
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Which persons, living or dead, would you invite to a fantasy dinner party? What topics would you discuss? Are there any subjects would you avoid? Lastly, what kind of food would you serve?

This is definitely an interesting question because it has been one year since a relative of mine has passed away.

She wasn't a close relative of mine, but she was important to a friend which made it a little difficult to deal with.

I am at shock that she died. The year just started and there was already such tragedy. When I got the message that she died, it didn't register at first. I didn't know what to say. Death is a topic mostly avoided, and thus a topic I definitely could not talk about.

Today my family is having a lunch to commemorate I guess...and being the first time it's been done, I didn't know what to do. First of all, we don't usually remember these dates. I mean if we remember it, sure we say "Oh hey this was the day this person died", but we don't do anything about it.

Another is, if you do plan to put more meaning to this day, what do you DO exactly? I find it weird that we will eat lunch to...make note of this event. It feels like we're celebrating, and honestly that sounds weird doesn't it?

Oh well. So, to answer the question...I would invite her. I'd probably ask her to talk about her life, and what happened before, during and after her last few moments on Earth. We never really talked, so this will probably be my only time to hear what she says.

We'd have Japanese by the way.
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